Green Eggs and Black Butlers
by monkeybait
Summary: A classic poem gone Kuroshitsuji style.


**Perhaps Ciel has had quiche before, but for the sake of the poem, let's pretend he hasn't.**

**Edit: karabasik17 on deviantART made a most lo-ve-ly illustrated version of the poem! Go check it out!**

* * *

Green Eggs and Black Butlers

That Sebastian Michaelis, that Sebastian Michaelis

His skills are so great he could work in a palace

But for some reason the young master treats him with malice

That poor butler Sebastian Michaelis

...-...-...-...-...-...

Sebastian Michaelis begins the chores each day

Without any moment of delay.

When it is eight 'o'clock right on the dime

It means that it is breakfast time.

...-...-...-...-...-...

Every morning the butler prepares a mini feast

That deserves a four star rating at least.

Complete with tea, some toast, a banana or a peach

And a generous slice of breakfast quiche.

...-...-...-...-...-...

He brought it to the master's abode

On a little trolley that squeaked as it rolled.

Sebastian knocked on the door, then loudly said,

"It is time for you to get out of bed!"

...-...-...-...-...-...

"Rise and shine! There's a lot to be done

And if you look outside, you'll see there is sun."

Ciel shot his butler a look of warning;

He never was very pleasant in the morning.

...-...-...-...-...-...

"I've brought you food," the unabashed butler continues.

"Here's what is on today's menu:

There is fruit, and toast, and a cup of tea,

And quiche garnished with a dash of parsley."

...-...-...-...-...-...

The young earl gasped. "I refuse to eat this!

I think I would rather give a horse a kiss!"

The butler scoffed, "Do not be so unruly!

You haven't tried one baked by yours truly."

...-...-...-...-...-...

Ciel shook his head. "No, not a taste."

Sebastian sighed, "But it will go to waste!

Have one bite and you will see

Just how great a quiche can be."

...-...-...-...-...-...

Yet Ciel was determined and turned up his nose

As if to say 'That's how it goes'.

But Sebastian was a bit more wise

And tried to make a compromise.

...-...-...-...-...-...

"Would you like the quiche here or there?

In your bed or in a chair?

In the bath or on the floor?

You don't even have to be indoors!"

...-...-...-...-...-...

Ciel shook his head to disagree,

Acting much like he was three.

"I will not eat them here or there!

Not in my bed! Not in a chair!

Not in the bath or on the floor,

Not in or out of any doors.

I will not eat them anywhere;

Enough! I want you out of my hair!"

...-...-...-...-...-...

Yet that Sebastian would not be swayed.

"Would you, could you with our maid?

Or maybe Bard you would prefer,

Or Tanaka, or Finny, or the unnamed chauffeur?"

...-...-...-...-...-...

"I will not eat it with Maylene,

Nor Bard, nor Finny, or anyone in between!

I won't consume inside this room,

Not out or in, you will not win!

Not in a bed or in a chair,

I will not eat it anywhere!

I do not like quiche for breakfast,

I do not like it, Sebastian Michaelis!"

...-...-...-...-...-...

Sebastian pondered for a sec,

But he always knew what to say next.

"If you do not eat your quiche today

I'll be forced to call your fiancé."

...-...-...-...-...-...

Ciel sniffed. "I am not afraid of her."

"Oh, so you say. But are you sure?

After all, Lizzie is easy to control,

Especially when your happiness is in toll.

...-...-...-...-...-...

I could tell her quiche is your favorite dish

And to eat it always is your wish.

You think that it would be ideal

To have a quiche for every meal."

...-...-...-...-...-...

"No way!" Ciel exclaimed. "You wouldn't dare!"

Sebastian shrugged. "I wouldn't if I didn't care.

You must have quiche. You need to eat.

Your skinny bones should have more meat.

You are quite small for the average teen

And the quiche will give you some protein."

...-...-...-...-...-...

Ciel felt slighted and folded his arms,

But Sebastian had won him with his persuasive charms.

He grumbled out, "I'll eat that food,

But I'm not doing this for you."

...-...-...-...-...-...

He took the fork and dipped it in

To the yellow concoction with veggies mixed in.

It seemed unappealing but he had to try,

So he opened his mouth and shut his blue eye...

...-...-...-...-...-...

As he took the bite, Sebastian had to inquire

"What do you think? Was that really so dire?"

Ciel took the fork out, looking awestruck.

He responded in shock, "Wow, that didn't suck!

It was so delicious, I could eat it twice.

Go get me yet another slice."

...-...-...-...-...-...

Sebastian bowed and left to fetch more,

Knowing all along that his quiche was to die for.

His pride in himself could not have been subtler,

But Sebastian was aware he was one hell of a butler.

* * *

**You have no idea how much fun this was to write.**


End file.
